Affair partner pressures her husband's 17-year-old son to ask his father to stop paying unofficial spousal support so he can afford her kid's extracurricular activities: 'She told me they need all of dad's money right now'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Jul 3, 2024 8:00 PM EDT

There are some divorces where there are no clear good guys or bad guys. Sometimes, a couple falls out of love and can't seem to repair what they once had. Or maybe they're fighting so much that they know their kid's lives would be much more stable if they broke up. When a couple calls it quits because of an affair, everybody knows who the bad guy is. The other man/woman is the secondary antagonist, and those are clearly defined roles.

That being said, just because someone ends their marriage by having an affair doesn't mean they can't make up for their misdeeds in other ways. One teenage boy whose father left his mother for his mistress asked him to financially support his mother through school, even though he wasn't legally obliged to do so. His father agreed, but the woman he married had a problem with it because of the various extremely expensive hobbies of her children. 

Advertisement
  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10369252352
    via Michael Mims

    Photo does not feature the real subject in the story

  • 02
    AITA for shrugging when my dad's wife told me they need all of dad's money right now?
    via u/Salt-Ship4148
  • 03
    I (17m) might be TA and I might be a big one but I wanted to get people's insight.
    via u/Salt-Ship4148
  • 04
    So my dad left my mom when I was 14 to be with his wife/the woman he was cheating on my mom with. My dad didn't want me to think badly of him but I did. He knew I did and he knew he couldn't change my mind easily. We always knew my parents would end up with shared custody until I was 17 at least (from experience the judges in family court will only stop enforcing shared custody when a kid turns 17 and speaks out, any younger and they insist on 50/50). I also knew mom would struggle on her own be
    via u/Salt-Ship4148
  • 05
    pleaded with me to give him a chance to show he could still be a good dad and he said he would do anything for me, I told him to keep supporting mom and make sure she wasn't going to end up struggling while he got off easy. I told him she deserved that at least, after what he did, and that I deserved to see my mom doing well.
    via u/Salt-Ship4148
  • 06
    My dad agreed and he paid it as child support instead of spousal support or whatever it's called. It really helped mom and she actually went back to school so she could get a better job. Dad is still paying that money. He knows I appreciate him doing it and he also knows it's one of the only reasons I didn't just decide to say him and never want a relationship again. My mom is also less stressed. She has mixed feelings about my dad giving her money when legally he doesn't need to. But she also k
    via u/Salt-Ship4148
  • 07
    Where my dad's wife comes into it is this. She never liked that my dad paid this "child support". She never liked that I insisted on it for my dad and I to have a relationship. But now my dad's house is struggling a bit and some changes needed to be made. His wife's son and daughter were in dance, football, softball, karate, music lessons and an art class as paid extra curricular's. My dad and his wife also have a baby together. The wife's kids had to cut two activities because they can't afford
    via u/Salt-Ship4148
  • 08
    She told me I should stop obligating my dad to support mom because they need it more and my mom isn't their problem. I told her she and her kids are not my problem. She told me they're my family while mom is not her or her kids' family or my dad's anymore. I told her she and her kids are dad's family but not mine. She told me they need all of dad's money right now before more things need to be cut back on. I shrugged in response. She told me I was so callously flippant and it wasn't a good look
    via u/Salt-Ship4148
  • 09
    FantasticCabinet2623 7 hr. ago NTA. The did she expect, sleeping with a married man? She can get a second job if money is a problem.
    via u/FantasticCabinet2623
  • 10
    Salt-Ship4148 OP. 7 hr. ago She expected it to be like a lot of times where that happens when the man just doesn't give a about the hurt he caused and does no damage control and takes care of her and her people instead. She didn't expect dad to be so bothered by me losing respect for him with his affair and leaving mom like he did.
    via u/Salt-Ship4148
  • 11
    DragonCelica 7 hr. ago Ah yes, the "be a bad parent to your bio-child and raise my children as though they've always been your responsibility," line of "logic." Sadly, it happens. I'm glad thats not the case here.
    via u/DragonCelica
  • 12
    Psychological_Tap187 .5 hr. ago My question is where is their dad? Why isn't he giving her support. Sounds like they are in the US. Even if he did their would be survivors social security paid out to them.
    via u/Psychological_Tap187
  • 13
    FantasticCabinet2623 7 hr. ago Good to know your dad is only 50% sleazebag, not 100%. Regardless, absolutely not your problem. I hope your mom is doing well now. Every time she brings it up, remind her that it was her choice to sleep with a married man. She literally I around and found out.
    via u/FantasticCabinet2623
  • 14
    AMediumSizedFridge . 7 hr. ago Yeah one of those weird cases of terrible partner, okay dad
    via u/AMediumSizedFridge
  • 15
    One-Wrap-6381 · 6 hr. ago Your dad did something increadibly wrong when he cheated, but his actions now honor him, not only because he seems to value you more than his wife's kids hobbies. NTA obviously and I think it's real great that you stand up for your mom
    via u/One-Wrap-6381
  • 16
    Bfan72 6 hr. ago So she expects your dad to pay for his non biological kids and their biological father doesn't have to? If they got a divorce while those kids were minors only one of them would possibly get child support from him. What do you expect from a woman that sleeps with married men. Definitely NTA
    via u/Bfan72
  • 17
    Tight-Shift5706 · 6 hr. ago OP, is step mother employed?
    via u/Tight-Shift5706
  • 18
    Salt-Ship4148 OP. 3 hr. ago Yes but not full time or even really part time. She works a little to get money for hobbies and nothing else. I think it's probably more to get out of the house. She had a full time job before she and my dad made things official.
    via u/Salt-Ship4148
  • 19
    FantasticCabinet2623 3 hr. ago Yeah, she needs to go back to work to pay for her kids' extracurriculars.
    via u/FantasticCabinet2623
  • 20
    LJ_in_NY - 6 hr. ago And why did they have another kid if they can't afford the ones they have?
    via u/LJ_in_NY
  • 21
    PurpleStar1965 - 6 hr. ago Because the affair partner thinks that baby will cement her relationship with OP's Father.
    via u/PurpleStar1965
  • 22
    LJ_in_NY 6 hr. ago It worked so well for his first wife...oh, wait...!
    via u/LJ_in_NY
  • 23
    deleted-user-12.7 hr. ago Good, hopefully he continue to do right. He made mistakes and paying the consequences isn't just for when it's easy to do, they are still necessary when it's hard.
    via u/deleted-user-12
  • 24
    zlittle16 7 hr. ago Absolutely NTA. Dad didn't have to agree to pay your Mom to buy your acceptance and Step Mom should have spoke up then if it was a problem. She probably did but didn't push it so Dad's conscience could be eased. Step mom is just paying the price for cheating with a married man and Dad is suffering for his part too. Karma is a 1.
    via u/zlittle16
  • 25
    Salt-Ship4148 OP. 7 hr. ago I think it's more likely she spoke up, dad did it anyway and she was like , not going to end things now when we've come this far. Maybe she thought it wouldn't last as long. But I think there's a reason she wants the request to stop to come from me.
    via u/Salt-Ship4148
  • 26
    Backgrounding-Cat · 7 hr. ago I still don't understand why your dad should pay for her kids having too many expensive hobbies. Don't they have a father?
    via u/Backgrounding-Cat
  • 27
    Salt-Ship4148 OP. 7 hr. ago I never hear about their fathers (and it's pretty clear they have two different fathers). She expects dad to pay/help pay for that stuff because he married her and took on her two kids.
    via u/Salt-Ship4148
  • 28
    ProfessionSanity · 7 hr. ago Yeah, the next time she complains tell her to get her 2 oldest kids Dads to pony up. Ask her why YOUR DAD has to pay for kids not related to him?
    via u/ProfessionSanity
  • 29
    goodguessiswhatihave. 5 hr. ago "You've got 3 baby daddies so far. Why does only one of them pull their weight?"
    via u/goodguessiswhatihave
  • 30
    Backgrounding-Cat · 7 hr. ago NTA sorry for laughing at your stepmom. Out of curiosity: how long daddy will continue paying? Until you are 18 or until mom graduates?
    via u/Backgrounding-Cat
  • 31
    Salt-Ship4148 OP. 7 hr. ago For me it's until mom graduates. It's what I feel he owes. I can't technically make him pay that long though.
    via u/Salt-Ship4148

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

motherson affairs fatherson kids mother affair stepmom wife fathers husband child support financial dad support Reddit money son children
Scroll Down For The Next Article